Name: Gabriel Haines 
Anonymous: No 
Twitter followers: 45,300
Known for: satirical ranting, shiting posting, and comedic content

Who is Gabriel Haines anyway? 

Gabriel Haines is a content creator, podcaster and Crypto Twitter shitposter who has a proclivity for ripping off his shirt in videos and ranting about the market in a goofy and comedic fashion. 

His entertainment value has seen him quickly build up a following of 45,300 — not a bad effort considering his online journey only started on YouTube in early 2020, when he was making videos on subjects as diverse as hummus reviews and educational videos on content marketing.

Haines jumped into the crypto space around the end of 2020 after seeking out ways to hedge against inflation in response to the inordinate amount of U.S. dollar printing and stimulus thrown about during the height of the global pandemic. 

Although he started his journey learning about Bitcoin, Haines soon dived into the Ethereum ecosystem and says that his biggest early wins came from hustling on token airdrops.

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“Airdrops are a great way to make money in crypto because you don’t necessarily have to risk a lot of capital; you don’t have to make a big trade or anything like that. You can, you know, actually spend your time earning tokens. And that can often be a big payday.” 

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How did he get popular on Twitter?

Haines’ earlier crypto content was mainly focused on longer-form interviews and educational videos on subjects such as decentralized finance (DeFi); however, his popularity grew on Twitter as he ramped up his short-form comedic antics.

One key break, in particular, was a satirical video that he posted as a comment in response to a Nov. 12 tweet from Sam Bankman-Fried announcing that he had filed FTX, FTX US and Alameda Research for voluntary Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

In the video, which has roughly 961,400 views, 13,800 likes and 1,834 retweets, Haines can be seen in sweatpants and no shirt, holding a sword in his hand and ranting about the alleged sex orgies that went on behind closed doors within SBF’s inner circle.

Following on from that, another key moment was undoubtedly when he raised $10,000 from the community via crypto fundraising platform and DAO Juicebox to go search for SBF in the Bahamas during the immediate aftermath of the FTX implosion.

In a community poll of 2,220 participants on Nov. 26, 70% voted in favor of funding the trip, while 11.8% voted “No” and 18.1% voted “Who’s Gabriel?”

The capital covered flights and accommodation for Haines and his family, and notably, no one expected Haines to do anything but make some funny content out of it all.

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The adventure ultimately culminated with a video of Haines standing out the front of SBF’s apartment complex, ranting with his shirt off. This has since been turned into an NFT, which is free to mint for those who donated to the Juicebox campaign. 

What can you expect from him on Twitter? 

Haines’ brand of shitposting mostly consists of rallying the troops in bearish or bullish situations and screaming with his shirt off at home or in public.

He also likes to make fun of U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission Chair Gary Gensler, but he has serious reasons for doing so.

“I think that Gary Gensler has been especially egregious in his regulatory practices by not providing any clarity to the regulatees. I think he’s been very heavy-handed, malicious and not really trying to help the market.” 

Twitter beefs 

“I don’t have beef with anyone — I don’t really give a shit,” he says before immediately adding, “But I did have a Twitter beef with BitBoy Crypto for like a day, going back and forth.”

Haines says he doesn’t particularly like some things about the BitBoy YouTube channel relating to allegations of paid promotions.

“You’ve got to be very open and upfront about what is sponsored. You know if you’re talking about a token that you’re holding, just to make a disclosure, it’s okay. As long as you mentioned disclosure, then you should be okay as long as you’re open and honest,” he says.

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Twitter likes and dislikes

“I love the community. I love the memes. I think that it’s the place to be if you’re into crypto. It’s the place where you’re gonna get the most amount of information, and it’s where most of the people are. If you love crypto, you better be on Crypto Twitter because (if you’re not) you’re gonna miss out,” he says. 

Haines says there’s not particularly anything he dislikes about Crypto Twitter or anything he’d like to change. 

Looking ahead 

Haines has a simple and direct plan for the future: “Continue to make videos. Continue to get better and better and seek out more opportunities and exciting things. Those are my plans.”

Brian Quarmby

Brian Quarmby discovered crypto in 2013 and instantly fell in love with the idea of decentralization. Brian has since lived and worked Asia and returned to Melbourne in late 2019. Brian is a lover of sport and art and is bullish on the potential for NFTs to transform artists lives in the near future.

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